TMZ has obtained a lawsuit from a crazy Michigan man who claims he is Selena’s father and is suing Justin Bieber. Among the things the lawsuit alleges are:
– Justin Bieber got his “daughter” Selena pregnant and owes him $426 for the subsequent abortion. The impregnating occurred in the man’s bedroom, on a Canadian bear rug.
– The man was s0d0mized with a firework by Usher Raymond while Raymond blared Kate Perry’s (sic) “Firework” song. That … is one way to interpret the song.
– Justin gave Selena an STD and then stole the man’s credit card to buy c0caine for himself and “Sean P-Ditty Combs” to use in a drug-free school zone. Whatever that means. Also, we were unaware drug dealers took credit cards.
– The lawsuit concludes that America must boycott Justin Bieber’s music.
Wow.. pathetic! this man needs some medication.